The Quantum Physics of the Vice President

What alternate universe is Dick Cheney living in? I know he's spent most of the past three years in a "secure, undisclosed location," but didn't he at least have cable? The spin he put on reality last night reminded me of the sub-atomic particle property called - appropriately enough - spin. It's a derived number related to a particle's angular momentum (both orbital and inherent), but that's a discussion for another post.

Here's part of what Tricky Dick had to say:

The vice president hailed President Bush as a "superb commander-in-chief" who has helped restore the economy and will lead the nation to victory in the war on terror. Mr. Bush "does not deal in empty threats and half measures," Mr. Cheney said in his prime-time speech to delegates and a nationwide television audience.

Let's try to nullify the spin on those two issues.

I assume that Crash-Cart Cheney was referring to a massive increase in the national debt, tax cuts for the rich, huge unfunded mandates to the states (NCLB), 1.1 million jobs lost and a sputtering recovery. Did I miss anything?

As for leading us all to "victory in the war on terror," I'm not even sure where to start. Cheney must have been referring to ignoring Afghanistan where the Taliban not only wasn't destroyed and bin Laden was never found, but they are still there and increasing their hold on the country - again. Or maybe it was the complete fabrication used to take us to war against a country that it turns out has absolutely nothing to do with the war on terror. Or maybe he was referring to the Korean peninsula where we are drawing down troops who are facing a potential enemy who actually does have nuclear weapons. Actually on this subject I could give examples for days. And really, you all know them already.

If Dick Cheney were a quantum particle - no small feat, given his increasing bulk in recent years (they must not have a treadmill in his hideout) - physicists would have to come up with a new way to measure spin.

Oh, and to return to something I said in a previous post, if Arnold and Laura and the twins were the lipstick, Dick was the pig.

UPDATE: In fact, I found a picture to support my last assertion.

Photo via AMERICABlog via Eschaton; photo editing is mine.